If by some very unlucky circumstance your body is severely burned, you have a 70% chance of dying as a result. It isn’t the burn itself that will kill you, it will be the infection-causing bacteria that gets into the burn area, then quickly spreads through your body.

This condition is considered to be nearly at the top of the list as the most excruciating death experience you could possibly have.

Good news though, some smart lady scientist from Tel Aviv University named Professor Meital Zilberman came up with a solution that may save many burn victims lives.

She hasn’t come up with a name for it yet though, so for now, I’m just going to call it Biodoodleskin.

Biodoodleskin, which mimics many of the protective qualities of human skin (sorry folks, it has no tanning ability) is applied directly over the burn area. It allows the body to expel fluids and toxins from the wound and at the same time administers the exact required dosage of antibiotics directly into the body at the wound site. “When administered at the wound, a doctor can give relatively high but local doses of antibiotics, avoiding any toxicity issues that arise when the same amount of antibiotic passes through the body,” Professor Zilberman explains.

When Biodoodleskin is no longer needed to protect the wound, it will actually then dissolve away! It is engineered to biodegrade after a controlled period of time. This important feature helps nurses avoid having to clean and redress the wound, allowing the body to heal itself.

I’m trying to figure out a way to tell you about an emerged technology that Apple has applied a patent for that will undoubtly piss you off and not even a cute little story about it will soften the blow. Even the name of the new technology may raise the hairs on your neck.

Lets try it. ENFORCED AD-INTERACTION. There, take that.

Here’s how it might work::

One day your sitting calmly at your computer, lets say, reading your emails, when suddenly one of those obnoxious video pop-up advertisements appears on your screen about, lets say, Erectile Dysfunction (ED) for example.

You are a woman so this is not a  problem that you are personally afflicted with, although you have just been reminded that the subject is not completely foreign to you, but it does seem like a completely inappropriate subject to consider while catching up with Mom and Dad‘s vacation experience.

Anyway, your not at all paying attention to the fact that if your erection lasts more than four hours, you should seek immediate medical attention. No, unfortunately for you, your attention is primarily focused on finding the close button that will remove this annoying advertisement from your screen.

While searching for this button, you discover that not only is there no close button to click, but the pop-up advertisement has just doubled in size and is now completely covering the vacation pictures that Dad attached to their email.

Here is what you’ll need to do to remove the Erectile Dysfunction Advertisement Presentation from your screen.

First and foremost, you must pay close attention to the important information that is being presented to you. If you don’t, you may not be able to answer correctly the simple quiz question at the end of the advertisement presentation.

A wrong answer will likely set into motion a continuance of important information about the product that will again require your even more focused attention because the next quiz question will be a little more difficult to answer correctly.

This is just a mild form of being penalized because of  your initial inattention and a subtle, but friendly reminder, that you really should pay closer attention to this and future advertisement presentations as well.

Now, when you finally answer the quiz question correctly, there may be just one more little hoop to jump through that will successfully depart you from the important advertisement presentation information being presented for you.

You will then be allowed to share this important information with a friend by simply providing the advertiser with your friends contact information. It’s not required to do so, but if you do, you will immediately receive a downloadable Coded Bonus Coupon that will entitle you to substantial discounts towards your next purchase!

Now wouldn’t that be sweet?

If you want to know someone real well, just look through their trash. Most people don’t really want to get to know someone bad enough to inspect their garbage, but a growing number of retailers want to very badly.

Most people don’t know this, but Walmart, for example, used to regularly send hundreds of their employees into targeted neighborhoods on trash day to dig into trash barrels and inventory everything they found. They used that information to find out what products that neighborhood consumed and how often they consumed them and could then develop useful marketing strategies. The problem that Walmart faced using that method of information gathering was that many of the employees used for that purpose were regularly beaten up or even killed while just trying to do their jobs.

Actually, Walmart never did that, but they wanted to! Ah, but now they can do it and most people will gladly share that information.

How is this going to happen? SMART TRASH! That’s how!

All products made and sold in the United States could have a radio frequency identification (RFD) tag on them. Your kitchen trash receptacle would have an electronic scanner with WiFi capability built right into it. Every time you throw something away, it will be automatically scanned as it goes into the trash can.

Here is where the genius part of this plan comes in:  To get people to actually put up with this invasion of their privacy, they will put a completely new and different face on it by calling it a recycle program.

Manufacturers will be required to make their product packaging using recyclable materials. Practically everything that could fit into your kitchen trash will be recyclable and scanned. The incentive for people to participate and make sure that each item that goes into their trash gets scanned is that they will receive cash back for their trash! No beep… no $.

Retailers like Walmart will help subsidize the cash back program, not because they are concerned about recycling and our environment, but because they will have not only access to a list of every single product that we consume and how often we consume it, but our names and addresses too!

How clever!

I recently purchased the 2013 Audi S6 automobile with the new AIDA (Affective Intelligent Driving Agent) installed. The car salesman was all jacked up about this amazing robot that is designed to offer me guidance “as an informed and friendly companion.”

I had visions of a robot backseat driver telling me what to do, but the salesman assured me that soon after driving the vehicle a sort of symbiotic relationship would develop between myself and AIDA and we could actually become quite good travel buddies!

After having owned the car now for nearly two months, this is typically how my driving experience is with my new travel companion.

Two weeks ago when I got in the car to go to work, AIDA greeted me with her usual good natured “Good morning Doodle!” Then she said, “I can see by the expression on your face that perhaps you are feeling agitated and might be too distracted to drive safely this morning. Would you care to have me operate system functions for you?”

She has only asked me this question once before when I left the house in a huff over an argument I had just had with my wife. I sort of took it out on AIDA by telling her to mind her own damn business and to shut the hell up. It was almost three days before she uttered another word to me.

“Sure AIDA, why not!” I told her. “I’ll steer and you can do the rest!”
Before we backed out of the driveway, she suggested that we take a different route to work because of an accident that had traffic on the interstate at a crawl for several miles. She also suggested that because of the likelihood of rain and wind conditions that evening, it might be best to stop on the way to work to get gas instead of on my way home as I normally do. She added that the CITGO gas station on Cleveland Ave had the cheapest gas along our new revised route.

That was the first time that I had allowed AIDA to “take over” most of the functions of driving for me while I just steered the car in the direction she told me to go.

I was amazed at her ability to analyze traffic conditions as well as road conditions along the way. There was even a time when she unexpectedly slowed the car down to an approaching signal because she knew when the light was going to turn red which eliminated the need to haul ass to get through the yellow. We never went over the speed limit and she even stopped the car at an intersection where we had the green light to allow the motorist who ran his red light to go by and not kill me!!

by

doodle

Doodle’s heart was broken by the absence of his true love. She was away from him at a time that hurt him most deeply. It was perhaps the most special time of their romance. They met almost a year ago on Valentines day, and ever since then he has not been apart from her for more than a few moments and when she was gone he felt a loneliness that absorbed his life.

She would soon be back into his arms he knew, but her being gone on their very first anniversary, on Valentines Day, sent him reeling in hopeless despair as he wandered aimlessly through department stores and boutiques searching for a gift to send her that would say I love you like no other gift could. A gift  that could make her feel that she was the most special person in doodle’s life.

“My God,” he prayed. “What could I possibly find in some store that would  give her anywhere near the pleasure that I know she will yearn for from me on our very special Valentine anniversary?”

All Doodle could think about was being with his lover when he suddenly realized that he had stopped walking and was absently standing in the doorway of a very small boutique. The hand carved wooden sign above the door read: The Unique Boutique.  Doodle had just entered the last stop of his quest.

A very attractive woman approached Doodle as soon as he stepped in from the bustling sidewalk. “Hello… Welcome to The Unique Boutique. May I help you find what you wish for?” Doodle immediately felt at ease with the woman who had just approached him. She offered such a warm, gentle and  caring smile that he, for the first time during his fitful shopping experience that day, decided to be very open with her and tell her about his heartache and his very special need.

She listened attentively and asked appropriate questions to better understand his desire for a unique and very special gift for his lover. She smiled again and told him that she had the perfect item that would convey his every sentiment.

Doodle couldn’t imagine what she could show him that would satisfy his desire, but he followed her anyway through a maze of clothing racks and she finally stopped and carefully picked up a pink and purple velvet box that sat  all alone on a small walnut display table and gently placed it into Doodle’s hands. On the outside of the box and written in beautiful gold raised cursive writing it simply read: Je Joue. There was no other writing on the beautiful box at all.

“What is this?” Doodle asked in almost a whisper.

She looked deeply into Doodle’s eyes and smiled that warm and gentle way she does and said, “This is the only thing in the world that will give your lover what she wants from you while you are apart. It is a programmable vibrator that is designed specially for long-distance lovers. It is controlled by digital files that you can create just for her.”

“What are you talking about?” Doodle asked.

“I’m talking about the ability for you to instruct this pleasure devise’s soft massage pad to move in an infinitely variable number of patterns, creating a foreplay-like experience. Accordingly, with Je Joue’s PleasureWare software,  long-distance lovers can email their partners a sensual Valentine’s Day treat. Their own personal pleasure programme.”

Doodle smiled for the first time in weeks as he stared at the box in his hand. “Do you gift wrap?” He asked.

This One Got Away

by

doodle

The other day me and a buddy of mine were fishing out in the bay, when suddenly the drag on my reel started singing that high pitched ratchet song and my pole was bent so far down I thought it was going to snap! I grabbed it out of it’s holder and started a fight that in the end lasted nearly three hours!

It wasn’t like a sudden strike and then random bouts of hard pulling. It was just a hard steady pull all the time. I thought maybe I snagged a passing boat or something, but we were the only boat out there.

It was just like the Old Man and the Sea movie when Spenser Tracy caught that huge marlin and it dragged his little skiff way out to sea before it tired out and finally let the old man with his bloodied hands, bring him up to the surface.

I too worked that baby for hours and it too was pulling our little skiff far out into the bay. It wasn’t so bad for us though, because we had an outboard motor to get us back, but my “buddy” was drinking all the beer while I was  fighting this relentless monster fish! “Hey Man! Lighten up on the Brewskys, dude!” I hollered over my shoulder. “It’s cool man,” he assured me. “Just bring in that damn fish!”

I was completely exhausted by the time I had the fish next to the boat. It had to be over four feet long! It was the strangest looking fish either one of us had ever seen. “Get the gaff in him before he takes off again!” I yelled to my buddy. He grabbed the gaff and plunged it into the fish’s belly as it swam steadily along side the boat.

“What the hell?” He said. He pulled the gaff back into the boat and we both stared at it in complete disbelief. The thick steel hook at the end of the gaff had broken in half!

It turns out that what I had caught and fought and brought to the side of the boat was not a real fish at all, but a robot disguised to look and swim like a fish! It was one of several experimental robotic fish designed to swim around the bay and collect water pollution samples, analyze the sample, then transmit the data to some agency somewhere. My hook had snagged it while it was swimming by and it didn’t know any better. Neither did we, but it has been one of my best fishing stories yet!

It’s cool feature is that it will be imbedded into the road and will generate and transfer power to your future electric car while you are driving or have it parked, eliminating the need to stop and plug in.

Free Gas?

by

doodle

Last week I wrote about how solar powered roadways could be used to generate enough clean electricity to square us all away without messing up the environment.

An additional new technology called Parasitic Energy Harvesting that can convert physical stress into electric current and will probably be incorporated into the “Smart Road”.

It’s cool feature is that it might  be embedded into the road and could generate and transfer power to your future electric car while you are driving or have it parked, eliminating the need to stop and plug in.

Does this mean that we can drive for free? I doubt it. Reading further into this incredible technology I found out that it comes with a handy by-product. It has the ability to transmit real time data on things like where your car is, when it is there, how fast it’s going and maybe what station you have on your radio.

We will likely get a monthly statement from some company owned by Exxon to our e-mail requesting payment for the amount of miles we drove. Depending on where we were driving and when we drove there will determine a peak usage index (PUI) to determine the rates we pay.

Cheers!

A Better Road To Take?

by

doodle

It was a cold and crisp winter day in 2056 that I found myself driving west on Interstate 70 from Topeka to Denver. I was on my way to visit my parents for the holidays. The sun was just setting behind the distant snow covered Rocky Mountains. The highway LED markers were beginning to dim for night driving conditions.

My dashboard VU screen indicated a snow storm up on the pass. I remembered my dad telling me that years ago when a big storm hit the pass, they would actually close the road and people would be stuck up there until the snow was cleared! Can you imagine that?

A semi truck passed me going the other way. It was loaded down with steel and wire probably from an old dismantled tower that was used to carry electricity across the country back in the old days. It seems like there was a constant and endless procession of trucks that carried the dismantled scraps of our country’s useless outdated energy structures from all over the country, now being hauled to recycling plants for disposal. Nothing was spared, from nuclear power plants to abandoned gas stations.

I was approaching a fairly tight curve in the road when suddenly an intruder alert warning began flashing on my lane signaling me to slow down. I flipped on my VIR to see what it was. The satellite imagery showed a moose standing in the road 622 meters ahead. I was hoping my approach wouldn’t scare it off before I had a chance to get a closer look at him.

Since the completion of the US Solar Roadways Project in 2027, a result of our country’s bold and far reaching economic stimulus plan that was passed a few years after The Great Depression of 2009, our country has been the largest provider of cheap and clean electricity for more than two thirds of the world’s population. It has now become our chief export product and is not only responsible for paying off the seventeen trillion dollar deficit that we racked up to get out of that economic mess, most scientists now agree that the global warming crises has showed significant indications of reversal.

What the hell are you talking about here doodle?

Check it out: Go to www.solarroadways.com and become immersed in a revolutionary approach to help solve our economic and global warming issues.

I Dropped My Cell Phone

by

doodle

I was up on a ladder spraying water into my roof gutters trying to remove the leaves and dirt when my cell phone rang. I was expecting a very important business call that day and I knew I was getting that call right then because I set a special ring tone (bugle taps) to alert me to it.

My hands were wet and slimy from having to push some of the leaves that got stuck in the downspout. I dropped the hose and dug into my pocket for the phone anyway, but it slipped out of my hand and the bugle ring stopped just when the phone bounced off of the ladder and hit the ground!

I was horrified by the financial consequences of not being able to answer that call. I quickly climbed down the ladder and picked up the phone and answered it, but it was dead. The phone was broken, and probably too, my chances of landing a very important account.

I was so upset that I almost threw the phone down on the driveway just so I could watch it shatter into a million pieces, but instead, I put it back into my pocket and ran into the house to use my land line. I was on my way to call the office and try to get the overseas number to call them back. It was a long shot, but I had to try.

Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, my cell phone started doing the bugle taps! Oh my God! It was my overseas call again!

I eventually landed that account and my phone hasn’t given me trouble ever since.

It turns out that my cell phone is the next generation electronic device equipped to heal itself! All of the sensitive components inside a cell phone that are most effected when the phone  does take a high dive into a hard place, are sealed with a coating of carbon nanotube-filled microcapsules that split open at the component break and release a material that seals the break back up, allowing it to function normally again!

This technology is just around the corner and it won’t stop at electronics either. These nanotube-filled microcapsules will be added to automobile paint. Minor car body scratches will heal themselves too!

How cool is that?

Business Not As Usual

by

doodle

The other day I was in the book store looking through magazines for something to write my next doodle doc story about, when I came across a short article that I was particularly inspired by.

It wasn’t the technology that inspired me to write this article as much as how the technology used offered such a fresh look at doing business.

Check this out.

The city of San Francisco found themselves needing to do something about their deteriorating city bus stop structures. Not only were they an eye-sore, but they were falling apart and presented a public liability concern.

There are three hundred and sixty of these structures all over the city. It was originally estimated that it would cost the city more than six million dollars to demolish and build comparable structures to replace them all. As you can imagine, there was no money in the city budget for this expenditure.

What to do. What to do.

This is what they did: Instead of spending six million dollars to replace them, they are going to have the bus stops built at an estimated cost of 10.8 million dollars!

Here is what they get: Artistically designed structures that have high efficiency solar roof panels that will provide power to built in WiFi routers and interactive information panels at each stop. This will create a comprehensive wireless network throughout the entire city. The high tech bus stops, with their solar roof panels, will generate and channel an estimated 43,000 kilowatt-hours of power per year back into the city’s power grid.

How does it get paid for? City officials say Clear Channel Outdoors has an installation and maintenance contract with the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency. Clear Channel Outdoors will foot the bill for the construction of all the structures and maintain them in exchange for saleable ad space on the sides of  those structures!

Pretty slick huh?